Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Being Human

A few weekends back, I was at the beach with my friend who has the "steps" app.  It counts your steps and by the end of the day she told me we did over 20,000 steps.  I was exhausted after she told me that and I didn't want to move the rest of the day! We are walking partners at home too, so she always has this thing going,  I can't be bother, plus I am not that attached to my cell phone.

I started to get curious though, because I am constantly on the move and I was listening to either a TED Talk or a Mind Valley Academy lecture where they were talking about sitting is the new smoking.  Truthfully, I don't know how bad it is if you just sit and smoke, but it does appear, you are doomed. The guy in the lecture had some kind of app that I thought I understood knew he was sitting longer than 30 minutes and it reminded him to get up and move. I am one of those people that needs reminders or I am one of those people that could be a reminder. Just ask my husband, what I remind him of.  Wait, maybe you shouldn't.

I have a Smart phone, believe me that doesn't mean I am any smarter than you but I do have resources. Since I had the capability, I went looking for a similar app.  THERE ARE SOOO MANY. I could have asked her what she had but I didn't want her to know I was doing it because she would probably ask, how many did you do today? I wanted to experiment under the radar. Doesn't it make you crazy when these apps want to know your location, shoe size, contacts, friends of friends, people you never met, how long you are in the bathroom, etc.?  I am exaggerating, but I do not like to reveal my location to anyone but I did it against my better judgment.  I downloaded the app "Human". I liked he name, I thought it might say get up and move and I know deep down inside with my habits, I am only human.

First day and the first 3 minutes were a breeze. All I had to do was feed the cats and clean the litter boxes and take the refuse outside to the trash. If I checked on the garden out back and headed to the locked back door I was adding more minutes.  I had to travel back to the front door. More minutes, yippee, I was off and running.

Then I started to vacuum, upstairs, downstairs, the basement and the dreaded basement steps. I forgot to attach my belly pack with the phone so I got no credit for all that extra curricular activity. I was a bit crestfallen when I realized no tally but I knew I had more going on than Mr. App was giving me credit for.

Day two, I won't say started out as a disaster but I will say it was a challenge to continue.  I got an email or text or some kind of notification from some one named Paul. Who is this Paul? He said, you did not meet your goal yesterday but we still love you. Who is this we? Quickly, it didn't really matter.  I started to argue with him and we. Yeah well, we both know that is not completely accurate don't we Paul? I was now turning on him.  What about all that vacuum movement, I did the whole house!!! It was clearly his fault I did not reach my goal, then I realized maybe my faux pas for not having the cell phone glued to me. So I tried to be more diligent.

The next day, I was headed to the beach for the weekend. Since Paul knows I didn't make my quota, does he know I will be driving in a car for almost 2 hours? What will he say about that?  Wait a minute does he know my house will be unoccupied? Should I warn him about my six attack dogs, that my pistol packing grandma is watching the dogs, I live eight flights up, with no elevator? Turns out yes, he knew I was in a car. Kinda freaky. Transporting he called it.

Later that evening, I receive a bubble sound from my phone. It was Human aka Paul.  He said, look at you hanging with the leatherheads. Leatherheads? Does he mean, football players? I put my glasses on, he said look at you heading to the leader boards. I was climbing the charts!

Next morning I woke up, rolled over to check the time and there was a message from Paul. How did you sleep, he asked? Now I am really getting freaked.  I ran in and brushed my teeth, this is getting way too personal. I recovered and met my goal double fold that day with sparkly clean teeth.

Day five: the message.....we have been together for a week now, marry us.  Marry us?  Who is the us? Should I be worried?

Day six I get a ding dong, let's get up and stretch those legs. He keeps me moving.

Day seven, he calls me brilliant. Brilliant isn't that a British term, brilliant? The next day I was McActive, an Irish lass. If he goes French on me I might consider marriage, Lafayette to date is my favorite Frenchman but how do you say Paul in French? La Belle Dame Sans Regrets is my favorite Sting song and maybe favorite song, just saying Paul.  Can you sing?

I am still not that big on all these people tracking apps, but I must say, if someone or thing wants to compliment me and help me make healthy choices, I just might participate and pay attention.  After all I am only human.


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